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Negative Sideburns are nothing new.  Here are some articles to prove it. 

 




 

Article from http://www.joesportsfan.com
A casual trip to a restaurant a few weeks ago resulted in sighting of one of the more rare, hair-related species in this region.  Everyone knows about the mullets, the jheri curls, the mustaches, etc. but not much has been written about the phenomenon knows as “Negative Sideburns”. 

Simply put, the Negative Sideburn (or NegBurns as my brother calls them) is achieved when one elects to shave their sideburns above the ear line.  Picture someone putting on a pair of glasses, then proceeding to take a straight razor and lopping off all hair beneath the ear piece.  I've drawn up this visual aid to help get the word out about these creatures –

Negative Sideburn: Sideburns that are inexplicably shaved north of the ear line.  Typically accompanied by a mullet for a streamlined aerodynamic effect.

  Before Neg-burns    After Neg-burns
negburns01.gif
There are more extreme versions as well...
negs2.jpg

If you run across NegBurns in the wild, be cautious, as they are typically aggressive.  You don’t shave your burns that high without an attitude to back it up.  Pass this along to anyone who might be in danger of running into a NegBurn to ensure that they are adequately educated.

"Thank joesportsfan.com for educating us on these guys.  Joe we couldn't agree more with their aggresiveness."


Post from http://johnnybagodonuts.blogspot.com

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Red Sox/Johnny Damon confusion: Imagine that!


Apparently there's some confusion over whether or not the Sox are actually finished negotiating with center fielder Johnny Damon. Get out of town! And they seemed to be running such a tight ship these days. This is the breaking news from Boston.com:
RED SOX PRESS CONFERENCE: The Red Sox have concluded their informal press briefing on Johnny Damon’s agreement with the Yankees. Some highlights: The Sox have not been informed by MLB that the Damon deal is finalized; the Sox would negotiate with Damon again should he fail his physical and New York backs out of the deal; the Sox said they wanted to resolve Damon's status one way or another by Christmas Eve, setting that as a deadline of sorts; the team did not say if their final offer to Damon was more than the offer they made at the winter meetings, believed to be 4 years, $40 million.
Can we please just bring Theo back so the Sox can accomplish one thing without looking like they don't know what they're doing?

Silver lining: There is one certain free agent outfielder, and since there's an opening and all...SIGN DAVE ROBERTS, GOD DAMN IT. If Dave Roberts comes back to the Sox I don't complain about one thing all next season.

Also, do you think Damon realizes this officially ends his little look-at-me-I-have-a-beard-and-a-funny-haircut cottage industry? Granted, he just got fifty million dollars, so he probably doesn't care, but the novelty of him shaving and getting a haircut will wear off pretty quickly in NYC. I'm guessing Damon goes with Mattingly-style negative sideburns and a mustache.


Wednesday, December 21, 2005



Here are some regulations from: http://www.afrotc.umn.edu/
This is from the University of Minnesota U.S. Air Force R.O.T.C. Det. 415 : Dress and Grooming Standards:
h. Personal Appearance

Men:

Hair must be clean, well-groomed and neat.


Hair must have a tapered appearance on sides and back, both with and without headgear. A tapered appearance is one that, when viewed from any angle, outlines the individual’s hair so that it conforms to the shape of the head, curving inward to the termination point. The bulk (thickness or depth of the mass of hair) must not exceed ¼" at the termination point. A block cut is permitted as long as a tapered appearance is kept.


Hair must not touch the eyebrows when groomed or protrude in front below the band of properly worn headgear. Hair must not touch ears and only the closely cut or shaved hair on the back of the neck may touch the collar. It must not exceed 1 ¼" in bulk, regardless of length.


Hair must not be worn in an extreme style or in such a way that exceeds length or bulk standards. It must not contain excessive amounts of grooming aids such as grease, creams, oils or sprays. It must not contain any visible foreign items attached to it.


Sideburns must be neatly trimmed and tapered in the same manner as the haircut. The must be straight and of even width (not flared) and end in a clean-shaven horizontal line.


Sideburns may not extend below the lowest part of the exterior ear opening.


"Negative" sideburns, those which stop above the ear, are not allowed.


Mustaches must not extend downward beyond the lip-line of the upper lip or extend sideways beyond a vertical line drawn upward from the corner of the mouth. Handlebar mustaches are prohibited.


"Well, if enrollment is down, I think we all know why.  If you ask us, the Negative Sideburn guys are exactly the kind of men you want."
 
 
 
Post from: 
http://misterirrelevant.com/
 
 Ben Howland Is Prince of the Neg-Burn 

By Jamie Mottram | March 30, 2008
First off, this is just a spectacular sporting Sunday: Memphis-Texas at 2:20, Kansas-Davidson at 5:05, Nats Park opening night at 8 and Wiz-Lakers at 9:30. I’m glued from 2 p.m.-past midnight, as I should be.
Before all of that though, I shared CBS analyst Seth Davis’ staggering Neg-Burns, which prompted Joe Sports Fan baller Pat Imig to alert me that UCLA coach Ben Howland loves the negative sideburns as well. One quick image search later, and, oh boy, does he ever:
 
ben-howland-neg-burns.jpg

Those, my friends, are some Final Four three-peat-worthy Neg-Burns. Good for him, and good for the Wizard of Westwood finally having a worthy successor, the Prince of the Neg-Burns.
Bonus: Extreme closeup after the jump … 
 ben-howland-neg-burns-closeup.jpg
Topics: College Hoops, Great Hair, High Fashion |
4 Responses to “Ben Howland Is Prince of the Neg-Burn”

WillBrinson Says:
March 30th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I mean, damn. That negburn looks like he shaved it right before the game - note the slight differentiation in skin coloring above the ear.
That means either a) he had a shaving mishap and had to scramble to even them up like six times or b) he wants to make sure he has the negburn in full effect when pictures are getting snapped because he knows how damn cool they are.
Unsilent Majority Says:
March 31st, 2008 at 9:04 am
It’s the hot new look. You Mottrams just don’t understand.
loomie Says:
April 1st, 2008 at 10:20 am
Before reading this entry I knew neg-burns existed and made fun of them but I didn’t know how to classify them. With that I give you the ultimate homage to neg-burns.
The simpsons episode where Mr. Burns puts together a soft ball team of major league players (you know what happens). Mr. Burns telling Don Mattingly to “shave those side burns” even though he already has neg-burns has to be one of the best tributes to neg-burns around
Jamie Mottram Says:
April 1st, 2008 at 10:29 am
Now that’s just a quality comment right there, loomie. Thanks for stopping by. Make yourself comfortable.
 
 "Outstanding!"
 
 
 


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